Smile

Notebook Recollections

I swallowed a camera two months ago. Dr. Ravi made me do it.

OK, it was a medical test. To check for blood in my small intestine. Not a usual study, but for me part of a work up for a bout of “low blood” – anemia.

The 22 feet of our small intestines complete the body’s marvelous assembly line of food digestion and absorption.

Upon Dr. Ravi’s order, I went to a Minnesota Gastroenterology (MNGI) office several days later. I had a pleasant, professional encounter with one of the G.I. nurses. There were no “BM” jokes or “camera-in-the-diabolical-system” comments.

There would be an at-home prep the day before the actual test to clean out the 22 feet of my small intestine. Much like a colonoscopy prep, there would be a Gatorade festival with a side of bowel softeners and eliminators.

The camera itself is contained in a clean, sterile, disposable capsule, the size of a multivitamin. 

A multi-multivitamin that takes 14 picture frames a second and creates an eight hour movie of the inside wall of my small intestine made up of the all-wonderful Duodenum, Jejunum and Ilium ( \not to be confused as three ancient Roman cities).

I would be wearing a wide-mesh brand around my waist about the size and look of a world championship wrestling belt that contained a battery, transmitter and recorder for the camera I would swallow.

I got the belt and camera at the MNGI office. I could be at home or almost anywhere. Just no bending, contact sports or long distance running for the eight hours of recording.

I swallowed the camera at 8 a.m. of test day. A green light would blink every 15 minutes to let me know the camera was still functioning.

The participant (me) has to “visually examine” all their “toilet stools” until they see the camera. No retrieval necessary. My small intestine movie will have been recorded in the “belt-receptor.”

At 4 p.m. upon test completion, I returned the recorder belt to the Minnesota G.I. office. The receptionist welcomed me with an “I know all about that test” smile and a “way to go” salute. (What if we could swallow body cameras to use for Disney World trips?)

Time out

Oh, I miss Carl, Mr. Positive. Carl Benston. I could’ve consulted him for some pre-test calming down. I think Carl would have listened interestingly about my swallowing a camera. He would’ve been quiet for a moment and then he’d ask: “a Kodak? Will you keep the pictures?”

At 4 p.m. I took a quick peek in the toilet bowl. I saw the “Kodak.” The belt had the whole movie.

A Minnesota G.I. doctor reviewed the film. Then she texted the results of Dr. Ravi who texted them to me: “minimal bleeding at three sites compatible with ibuprofen or aspirin use. No ulcers, cancers or other abnormalities.”

I was good to go. Stop the ibuprofen and aspirin for three months (Tylenol OK) and then a blood recheck to make sure the anemia has recovered. 

I told Dr. Joel Giffin, the first doctor I saw in clinic the next day, the good news.

He asked if I had considered entering my bowel movie in the Cannes film festival.